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Pay it Forward!  How many of you have seen that 

movie with Halie Joel Osment?


At that time in my life, I was all about the cornball movies, and Haley was a cute kid. Well, now I believe in pay it forward.


I won’t spoil the movie for anyone who hasn’t seen it, but I think after 5 years you should be able to have some spoiler alerts.  But, that isn’t really relevant


I’m still basking in the glow of love that my tribe showed me last Friday.


Overall, it was a terrific week even if I didn’t feel the greatest.


My usual team of helpers wasn’t available for various reasons, and I had an opportunity to actually ask my friends for help, which I HATE doing.  I’ve always hating doing that, even as a little girl, even when I knew I needed help.  Yes, I’m stubborn.  I know.


Not only did I not expect my tribe to do such an incredible thing for me but, I almost felt it wasn’t warranted.  I was texting with one of the organizers, and she cleared it up for me.


I really wasn’t happy about losing my hair again since it had just grown back after three years.  So, a friend decided to send me this huge box of hats.  At first, I was annoyed because I had no idea what the silly hats were for and I thought this guy sent them to the munchkins.  They don’t like wearing hats.  But, my hubby was patient enough with me to explain why my friend did this.


So, then ideas started popping in my head, like wearing one every day to be bold and not bald.  Be goofy and not sad.  Also, I wanted to cheer up my kids.  That was me paying it forward to them.


Well, the moms at my school got a kick out of it.  I didn’t even notice that, and just asssumed that they thought I lost my marbles.  There were a few hats that my hubby said he could never wear, but I had nothing to lose.


One mom wrote me on FB one of the days I had been there for drop off, and she said her daughter was a little anxious about something she had to do that day, but once the daughter saw me, she laughed and relaxed.


This mom also gave me a couple hats.  Other people wanted to provide me with hats.  I still didn’t realize I was having such an effect on people.  I was just trying to make it through drop off without running out of air and then go back home and feel a little miserable for a while.


So, here I am, paying it forward to kids and moms at my school.  Then they go and show me how much they appreciated it.  How it made them laugh.  There is this one dad who I’ve seen pretty much every day for the last three years.  I had never seen him smile.  People who don’t ever smile creep me out.  But, the last week of school, every time he saw me, he would smile.  I broke him!!!  He has a very sweet smile.


The one thing I was striving to do the last week of school was to show up for drop off, every day.  On Sunday before the final week, even though I was in bed most of the days, I realized I could make all these playdates for my kids and get them as normal a week as possible.

All my good mom friends stepped up, picked them up, took them to activities and brought them back to me (mostly in once piece).  Two of the playdates included swimming parties which my darling daughter loved.  When they heard they were going on 5 playdates, their little minds were blown, so that made me really ecstatic.


I just started back on Chemo, the Tuesday of the last week.  First time in about a month but my numbers were finally up, and he could go ahead with the treatment.  I was still having great difficulty breathing which was increasingly concerning to me as I really didn’t know why and the doctor couldn’t figure it out either.


I’ve also been concerned about this ulceration that appeared on my mastectomy breast a couple months ago.  I’ve asked every doctor that I have seen, and no one seemed to know what it was.  My OB said to get a mammogram and ultrasound.  The radiologists didn’t think it was anything serious but suggested that I see my plastic surgeon. I was avoiding him for the last couple of years since I felt after getting diagnosed that Stage 4 meant no more unnecessary surgeries. There are always possibilities that it could spread the cancer cells around.

I’m not a vain person.  (You may think this blog post is about you, but it’s not)  I love my plastic surgeon.  He’s kind-hearted, very serious but also extremely caring.  He’s no Marc Harmon from St. Elsewhere.  Yes, I am dating myself, but he’s a genuine guy, and I trust him.  He explained that he would need to talk to my oncologist, but this could happen quickly.  At the very least, he would fix the ulceration.


Little things like that brighten my day.


So, once again, I figured out for myself that I should be back on an inhaler which I got a couple of years ago when having trouble breathing after chemo.  My old pulmonologist moved to Colorado, but they set me up with a new guy.


He is a young guy, and his name is Dr. Grimes.  The funny thing is that I attended a humanities school called Grimes which was an extraordinary place to go to elementary school. I still have lots of friends and even teachers who I’m in touch with from that school. Very fond memories, so possibly that made me relax a bit more.


He really had done his homework before the appointment.  He looked at all my test results, saw the medicines I was on and was completely ready to help me figure this out.  When I said I had FB groups that I utilized to find out if anyone else experienced anything like I was experiencing: he didn’t roll his eyes at me and blow me off.  He had heard the same thing about one of the chemo drugs I was taking.


So, he had a plan to put me on a different inhaler that I can take twice a day and a rescue inhaler, but not to use that often.  He’s also going to wean me extra slowly from the prednisone, which sounds good to me.  I like a man with a plan.  Again, these little things, finding the right doctor is key to making my quality of life better.  That’s all I really need.


In conclusion, I saw my oncologist again today to get more chemo, but after he spent 20 minutes on the phone with my Plastic Surgeon, they decided we would suspend the chemo and do the surgery before continuing on.  Yay, another reprieve from chemo.  Now, I just hope to feel a little stronger for a couple weeks.

So, I had a slow but relaxing drive down to Westwood for nothing, with my friend, who had offered to take me.


Seems like anytime someone offers to take me, I don’t get chemo.  We had an excellent talk and had a lovely lunch in the valley.  Fixed my friend’s iPhone and a security device.  My tribe continues to impress me with their genuine acts of kindness.  So, Pay it Forward to someone you know.  They don’t have to have cancer.  Many people suffer from chronic conditions, and people don’t tend to come to their aid, and this makes me sad.


Be kind to someone today; it’ll really make their day.

My tribe Be kind to someone today, it’ll really make their day

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